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Deep Friendships: Youth Sports' Lifelong Impact

Updated: Jan 2, 2024



Our Youth Development articles are meant to create awareness for all of the incredible ways kids can develop from youth sports. The goal is to help people notice the wide range of development that is happening during youth sports along with noticing performance and results. If you see development happening, even during poor performance or poor results, it can give you the power to make the most of the experience and align with your personal priorities in youth sports.


In this article we will discuss (1) What are the key elements of deep friendships and what are the ways kids develop those foundational elements through youth sports (2) Why deep friendships are so valuable for community development at the different stages of life and (3) How to create and participate in youth sports experiences to best enable kids to develop deep friendships. If you find this all too much, read the cliffs notes or just skim each section. If you want to deeply learn this and incorporate it into youth sports, please spend the time to review, re-read and comment. If you want us to create a program for you that does all of this, please submit a request.


Summary of Developing Deep Friendships through Youth Sports


Pause for a moment and envision those instances where you've wished for your children to have a broader circle of friends—perhaps diverse companions who reflect a variety of experiences and backgrounds. Now, picture them embarking on new chapters, stepping into college or starting their professional journey, where the ability to forge new connections is paramount. Youth sports offer an ideal platform not only to acquire the art of making friends but also to cultivate lifelong, steadfast friendships that will stand as pillars of support throughout each stage of their lives. In this forthcoming blog, we unravel the transformative potential of youth sports in fostering both the social skills necessary to make new friends and the bedrock of deep, enduring friendships. Join us as we navigate the terrain where sports becomes a crucible for life-long relationships, enabling your child's journey toward a socially adept and interconnected future.


What Does it Mean to Develop Deep Friendships and Where Does this Happen in Youth Sports?


Deep friendships rely on trust, support, shared experiences, and respect. In youth sports, these core elements emerge. Trust and Support develop among teammates, lifting spirits after a baseball strikeout. Emotional Bonding evolves in shared victories, seen in soccer celebrations. Communication and Goals unite teams in basketball. Appreciation for Differences grows through diverse backgrounds in football. Shared Experiences strengthen connections, evident in rigorous track and field training. Resilience and Encouragement thrive, rallying after errors in volleyball. Inclusivity and Unity in youth sports welcome diversity, shaping the essence of deep friendships.

  1. Trust and Reliability: Deep friendships are built on trust and reliability. In youth sports, trusting teammates to perform their roles and relying on each other for support fosters a foundation of trust. Example: Trusting that a teammate will be there to lift your spirit when you make a mistake like striking out in baseball.

  2. Emotional Support and Camaraderie: Emotionally supportive friendships grow in environments where individuals experience victories, defeats, and challenging moments together. Youth sports provide these shared experiences, nurturing emotional support and camaraderie. Example: Celebrating a goal together in soccer with high fives and hugs helps foster emotional bonding and camaraderie.

  3. Communication and Shared Goals: Effective communication and working towards shared objectives are pivotal in deep friendships. Youth sports demand effective communication for strategizing and achieving common goals. Example: Setting a goal to do better in the second half of a basketball game by everyone playing at their own full-speed and then doing so and seeing the impact.

  4. Appreciation for Differences: Understanding and respecting differences among teammates and opponents is vital in developing deep friendships. Youth sports expose children to diverse backgrounds, body types, and skills, nurturing respect and empathy. Example: Appreciating that a football teammate might be a slow player, but they work so hard on learning the plays that they block better than anyone and open up the lanes for the faster players, creating appreciation for differences.

  5. Shared Experiences and Bonding: Deep friendships are often forged through shared experiences. Victories, losses, hard work, and shared accomplishments in youth sports contribute significantly to bonding and deep connections. Example: Going through a training session in track and field where everyone is pushed physically to their maximum tolerance.

  6. Resilience and Encouragement: Resilience and support go hand-in-hand in deep friendships. In youth sports, overcoming losses and supporting each other fosters resilience and encouragement. Example: After a volleyball player misses a set, the team huddles and encourages the teammate to forget about it and then the teammate makes a great set for a point and the team huddles to celebrate together.

  7. Inclusivity and Unity: Deep friendships often arise in environments that celebrate inclusivity. Youth sports introduce children to diverse backgrounds and abilities, promoting inclusivity and unity. Example: Welcoming players of different economic and ethnic backgrounds in any team sport promotes inclusivity and unity.

Why Is it so Valuable to Develop Deep Friendships for the Benefit of Community Development?


The lasting impact of deep friendships and the abilities to develop deep friendships cultivated through youth sports shapes a resilient foundation, crucial for success and fulfillment in the near-term, medium-term, and long-term aspects of life, encompassing personal, social, and professional spheres.


As a Child, Developing deep friendships through youth sports provides invaluable support and a network of relationships that profoundly impact a child's life during their formative years. These friendships offer a safety net, especially in challenging social situations at school. For instance, a child facing bullying or difficulty finding a group to play with during recess benefits immensely from the connections formed in sports. Having friends from various schools through sports not only expands their social circle but also provides a comforting familiarity when seeking new friends at school. The ability to understand and practice the key elements of deep friendships learned through sports—like trust, support, shared experiences, and respect—equips children to foster new connections outside their sports teams. These friendships serve as pillars for exploration, learning, and shared joy, creating a sense of belonging and a support system that uplifts them when they're down. Strong friendships gained through sports motivate children to engage in additional activities and sports, enriching their childhood experiences and forming the groundwork for a brighter, more connected future. In essence, these friendships aren’t just about camaraderie on the field; they shape a child’s world, providing the vital friendships they need to thrive in every aspect of their lives during childhood.


In Early Adulthood, Developing deep friendships through youth sports provides a significant advantage in early adulthood. The strong bonds cultivated during childhood create a safety net, fostering confidence in making new friends and reducing stress about forming new connections. These friendships offer a support system at home that greatly assists in navigating social life in college. Moreover, the skills honed through these friendships—like communication, trust, and teamwork—ease the process of making new friends in college and during the initial professional years. These abilities are instrumental in building a community in both social and professional settings, facilitating better performance and support within the workplace. The foundation of strong relationships learned through youth sports significantly contributes to success, enjoyment, and support in college, during the early professional years, and within the community at work.


For the Long Haul, Deep friendships established through youth sports have a lasting impact on adulthood, notably in building professional networks and social connections. These relationships, rooted in trust and shared experiences, prove invaluable in the professional world, fostering collaboration and support within workplaces. They contribute to career satisfaction and opportunities, aiding in job performance and professional growth. Additionally, these friendships facilitate the creation of diverse social connections, enabling individuals to integrate into various communities, enhancing their social lives and sense of belonging. The skills acquired through these friendships serve as a foundation, providing support and a network that spans both professional and social spheres, enriching and empowering individuals throughout their lives.


How to Design a Process for Developing Deep Friendships through Youth Sports.


For those of you that are very process-oriented, here is a logical progression model that illustrates how kids can best develop deep friendships and the abilities to continuously do so.

  1. Winning Creates an Initial Frame of Reference: Whether it's winning a game, a tournament, or aiming for a winning record throughout the season, victory serves as a straightforward benchmark that children readily comprehend and aspire to attain. ''Kids, we need to develop a strong community as a team. Part of that means developing deep friendships within this team. I know you may already have friends, but we will need to all be friends to give ourselves the best chance to win as much as possible. How does that sound?'' Whether winning is the most important thing to you or not, this approach will lead to a better chance to win and will maximize the development of these skills for lifelong benefits.

  2. Break Winning into Pieces: In order to have successful winning teams, kids and the teams need to be good at developing trust, camaraderie, shared goals, appreciation for differences, shared experiences, encouragement and inclusivity. Explain to the kids (in simple terms) how developing these skills will help them resolve conflicts as they arise that will help improve the team performance.

  3. Cultivate these Pieces: Concentrate with intent on developing the kids' abilities to effectively build deep friendships and make sure the development is happening. Make the parents aware that this is a part of your focus. Incorporate the skills listed above that are needed for deep friendships into the experience. Celebrate when the kids demonstrate elements that ladder up to deep friendships. Emphasizing this brings awareness which will foster intrinsic intent and a desire to improve upon their skills to develop deep friendships. Make each individual's past performance the benchmark for them so they strive to continuously improve.

  4. Deep Friendships Starts to Show Results: The kids start experiencing the reward of what it means to have deep friendships. Connect these dots for them. Help them deeply appreciate that their deep friendship is happening and it matters. It helps them play better, get more playing time, win more plays, and enjoy the sport better.

  5. Building Deep Friendships becomes Natural: The kids get such joy out of the rewards of their continuous development of things that build deep friendships that they start to intrinsically drive continued improvement without the coach needing to emphasize it as much. They start becoming intentional about continuing to develop their abilities to develop deep friendships... ultimately for the love of the experience of honing the skills that give them the deep friendships to thrive as a team and in life.

How Can General Approaches Help Kids to Develop Deep Friendships through Youth Sports?


To foster the development of deep friendships in youth sports, implementing diverse activities and discussions centered around trust, support, communication, and appreciation for differences among team members is crucial.

  1. Trust and Reliability: Organize team-building exercises that require reliance on one another, like blindfolded trust walks where one player guides another. Encourage discussions on the importance of trust in sports, highlighting how relying on teammates fosters trust and reliability.

  2. Emotional Support and Camaraderie: Incorporate group celebrations after victories, focusing on fostering emotional bonding and camaraderie among team members. Engage in team activities that require mutual support, emphasizing the importance of standing by each other during defeats and challenging moments.

  3. Communication and Shared Goals: Implement drills focusing on teamwork and shared objectives, like relay races or team-based challenges, to emphasize effective communication and the importance of working towards common goals. Encourage open discussions among players to ensure everyone is on the same page regarding objectives and strategies.

  4. Appreciation for Differences: Design activities that highlight the strengths of diverse team members, such as rotating positions to appreciate varying skill sets. Facilitate discussions and group activities that showcase how differences contribute to the team's success and foster respect and empathy.

  5. Shared Experiences and Bonding: Create opportunities for shared experiences, such as team-building obstacle courses or group problem-solving activities, to strengthen the bond among team members. Emphasize the value of victories, losses, hard work, and shared accomplishments in forging deep connections.

  6. Resilience and Encouragement: Develop scenarios in practices where players need to overcome setbacks, encouraging support and resilience. Encourage a culture of positive reinforcement and team support after failures, highlighting how encouragement and resilience go hand-in-hand in deep friendships.

  7. Inclusivity and Unity: Foster an environment that celebrates inclusivity by promoting teamwork among players from diverse backgrounds. Create team activities that require everyone's participation, highlighting how inclusivity and unity lead to a stronger, more cohesive team dynamic.

Top 7 Specific Tips and Tricks to Help Kids Develop Deep Friendships in Youth Sports.


The following tailored approaches encompass trust, support, effective communication, and inclusivity within the team environment and are instrumental in promoting deep and enduring friendships.

  1. Trust and Reliability: Establish blindfolded trust walks, where players guide each other through an obstacle course, emphasizing the significance of trust. Follow this with a discussion on how relying on teammates fosters trust and reliability, illustrating how it directly impacts team dynamics during gameplay, reinforcing the importance of mutual dependence.

  2. Emotional Support and Camaraderie: After victories, lead team celebrations or rituals, emphasizing shared success and fostering emotional bonds. Encourage players to share specific instances of mutual support during defeats or challenging moments, fostering a deeper sense of unity and camaraderie.

  3. Communication and Shared Goals: Incorporate relay races or team-based challenges that necessitate effective communication for success. Pre-game or halftime discussions should focus on ensuring clarity regarding shared objectives and strategies, fostering open communication channels among teammates.

  4. Appreciation for Differences: Rotate players through various positions during practices, allowing exposure to diverse roles and skill sets within the team. Engage the team in discussions that highlight how each player's unique strengths contribute to the team's overall success, fostering respect for diverse skill sets.

  5. Shared Experiences and Bonding: Introduce team-building activities requiring teamwork, such as problem-solving tasks or obstacle courses, to strengthen bonds among players. Post-activity reflections should emphasize the shared experiences, highlighting the value of perseverance and collective achievements in strengthening team connections.

  6. Resilience and Encouragement: Create practice scenarios that challenge players, requiring teamwork to overcome setbacks. Encourage a culture of positive reinforcement post-challenges, followed by team discussions that highlight the significance of encouragement and resilience in building lasting friendships within the team.

  7. Inclusivity and Unity: Design team activities where every player's participation is essential, fostering a sense of unity and inclusivity. Lead discussions focusing on the benefits of inclusivity and unity, highlighting the strength derived from the diversity of backgrounds and skill sets within the team.

In the tapestry of a child's development, youth sports weave threads of social interaction, camaraderie, and resilience. As we draw to a close, it becomes evident that these experiences extend far beyond the physical and competitive realm, nurturing friendships that serve as a cornerstone for a fulfilling life journey. The lessons learned within the camaraderie of a sports team not only equip young athletes with the skills to forge new connections but lay the foundation for enduring friendships that bolster them through the various chapters of life. By fostering a culture of mutual respect, inclusivity, and shared goals within the sports arena, we fortify the path for children to stride confidently into the future, carrying with them the priceless gift of meaningful, lifelong friendships.

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