The Power of Wonder Makes a Coach an Effective Leader:
Wonder is a powerful tool for anyone, but especially for those in leadership roles such as youth sports coaches. Drawing on the principles of the 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, wonder helps leaders operate from a place of curiosity rather than certainty. This shift allows coaches to be more open, innovative, and effective in their guidance. By embracing wonder, a coach transforms challenges into opportunities for growth and learning, both for themselves and their athletes.
Wonder Leads to Solutions in Youth Sports You Can't See:
Angela Duckworth’s concept of "Grit" emphasizes perseverance and passion for long-term goals. In the context of youth sports, wonder acts as a catalyst that can reveal hidden potential and solutions that might not be apparent without this deeper curiosity. For instance, wondering about the individual strengths of each player can lead to more personalized coaching strategies, which in turn can enhance a player's engagement and resilience. Wonder can also help coaches see beyond immediate setbacks, and discover the true source of the problem and make answers self-evident, like when a player isn't focused because they had a hard day at school and they can learn that they have the power to bounce back, but only if the coach sees the true reason for the player's lack of focus.
Wonder Explained:
Wonder is the practice of asking questions that ignite exploration and open-ended inquiry. For example, when a coach observes a player struggling with a skill, instead of concluding they lack ability, the coach might wonder, "I wonder, what support does this player need to succeed?" This leads to a more tailored and empathetic approach. Another example could be after a loss, instead of blaming external factors, a coach might wonder, "I wonder, what can we learn from this experience to help us develop better for the next game?" This repositions challenges as valuable learning moments.
The Neuroscience Behind the Power of Wonder:
According to neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett, our brains construct our experiences based on a combination of sensory inputs and past knowledge. When coaches practice wonder, they are essentially training their brains to construct more rigorous and expansive interpretations of their experiences. This mental flexibility is crucial for adaptive leadership. Wonder encourages the brain to consider new possibilities and perspectives, which leads to mastery in problem-solving and builds emotional intelligence.
Wonder Teaches the Players a Critical Skill to Thrive in Life:
Erik Erikson's stages of psychosocial development emphasize the importance of navigating various challenges at different life stages. Wonder teaches young athletes critical skills such as curiosity, resilience, and flexibility—qualities that are essential for successfully navigating life’s complexities. By modeling a mindset of wonder, coaches are helping players not just to improve in their sport, but also to develop a more robust psychological toolkit for life.
Approaches that Build the Habit of Wonder:
Regular Reflection: It only takes a few minutes a day.
Open-Ended Questions: Practice framing questions that don’t have straightforward answers.
Wonder About Hard Problems: Take your hardest problem. Maybe it is kids not focused. Maybe it is kids not "getting it." Maybe it is parents yelling from the sidelines. Then ask yourself "I wonder what are the reasons that this could be happening?"
Put Aside Judgements and Assumptions: Wonder requires tossing pre-conceived ideas, anger, frustration out the window. Don't worry, you can come back to those, but true wonder will help you see answers that judgement and assumptions prevent you from seeing.
10 Example Questions of Wonder:
What strengths did each player demonstrate today that I haven’t noticed before?
How did my feedback today affect the confidence and performance of the team?
What might be the reason behind a player’s unexpected reaction or behavior today?
What would a highly engaged training look like?
What would make the training more engaging for everyone?
How can I better support a player who seems to be struggling more than others?
What do the kids love about what we are doing? What do they hate?
How can I make the learning from today’s session more interesting?
In what ways can I better prepare the team for the psychological pressures of the game?
What did I learn about myself as a coach today?
10 Questions that are NOT Wonder:
Why can’t this player ever follow instructions?
Who is to blame for today’s loss?
Why don’t the players ever listen?
Why do we always have the same problems every game?
Why can’t they just do what I say?
Why isn’t everyone as committed as I am?
What’s wrong with this team?
Why are other teams better than ours?
Why did they make that mistake again?
Why aren’t they getting it?
Deeper Dive into the Practice of Wonder
1. Cultivate Mindful Observation
Mindful observation involves intentionally paying attention to your surroundings and experiences without judgment. This practice encourages you to notice details and nuances that you might typically overlook, thereby opening up new avenues of curiosity and wonder. Here’s how to cultivate it:
Daily Mindfulness Practices: Engage in regular mindfulness exercises such as guided meditations, mindful walking, or simply observing your environment with intent to see something new each time.
Journaling: Keep a wonder journal where you note down daily observations that intrigue or puzzle you. This can help train your mind to constantly look for the unusual or the unexpected.
Sensory Exploration: Regularly challenge yourself to use different senses to experience your environment, such as closing your eyes to enhance auditory perceptions during a walk.
2. Adopt a Learner’s Mindset
Approaching life with a beginner's or learner’s mindset means being open to new experiences and willing to see beyond existing beliefs and understandings. This mindset fosters wonder by allowing you to constantly question and explore. Here’s how to adopt it:
Question Assumptions: Regularly challenge your own assumptions about how things should be. Ask yourself "What if?" and "Why?" to open up alternatives.
Continuous Learning: Engage in new hobbies, read broadly, or take courses outside of your comfort zone. Each new skill or piece of knowledge can lead to surprising and wondrous insights.
Seek Diverse Perspectives: Interact with people from different backgrounds and with different views. This can expand your understanding of the world and stimulate curiosity.
3. Create Space for Reflection and Inquiry
Wonder often arises from deep reflection and the space to ponder the mysteries and complexities of life. Creating intentional space for such reflection can significantly enhance your capacity for wonder. Here’s how to do it:
Regular Reflection Time: Set aside time each week to reflect on experiences and lessons learned. Use this time to delve deeper into things that caught your attention but you didn’t fully explore.
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Practice framing questions that don’t have straightforward answers. For example, instead of asking "Did I do this right?", ask "What new insights did I gain from this experience?"
Engage with Art and Nature: Both art and nature can provoke profound questions about existence, beauty, and life’s complexities. Regularly spending time in nature or engaging with different forms of art can help cultivate a deeper sense of wonder and inquiry.
By integrating these approaches into your daily routine, you can develop a more robust sense of wonder, enhancing your engagement with the world and enriching your personal and professional life.
A Tale of Two Coaches: A Journey of Wonder and Rigidity
Chapter 1: The Underdog Team
In the quaint town of Greenfield, the Meadowlarks, a young baseball team coached by Coach Parker, brimmed with potential but lacked consistency. Positioned to finish near the bottom of the local league, Coach Parker, a staunch believer in the power of wonder, viewed the upcoming season as a canvas of opportunity. Among the Meadowlarks was Jamie, a ten-year-old with boundless enthusiasm but frequent lapses in focus during games.
Chapter 2: The Dominant Team
Across town, the Falcons, led by Coach Donovan, stood as the perennial favorites. Known for his strict and disciplined approach, Coach Donovan left little room for error, demanding excellence and perfection from his team at every turn. Eli, a standout player of the same age as Jamie, excelled under this regime, though he often felt the heavy burden of expectations weighing him down.
Chapter 3: The Season Begins
As the season unfolded, Coach Parker implemented sessions designed to ignite curiosity and resilience within his players. When Jamie missed a crucial catch, instead of showing frustration, Coach Parker asked, "What can we learn from this moment?" This approach allowed Jamie and his teammates to view each mistake as a learning opportunity, reducing their fear of failure and boosting their willingness to try new strategies.
Conversely, Coach Donovan's practices with the Falcons were rigid. When Eli made an error, the response was swift and critical, aimed at preventing future mistakes but inadvertently creating a tense atmosphere. This approach stifled creativity and increased pressure, leading to a cautious style of play among the team members.
Chapter 4: Challenges and Growth
Mid-season brought challenges to both teams. The Meadowlarks, under Coach Parker’s guidance, found themselves trailing in a crucial game. Instead of succumbing to pressure, they leveraged their newfound resilience. Jamie, inspired by the supportive environment, made a daring play that turned the game around, leading to an unexpected victory.
In contrast, the Falcons faced a similar situation but responded differently. With the game on the line, Eli felt the weight of expectation crushing him. His fear of making a mistake caused him to hesitate at a critical moment, resulting in a loss that was hard for the team to accept. The rigid approach to coaching left little room for recovery or learning from the loss, impacting the team's morale and cohesion.
Chapter 5: Reflection and Realization
As the season neared its end, the Meadowlarks continued to surpass expectations. Their ability to embrace challenges and learn from them transformed their gameplay, turning potential defeats into lessons and victories. Jamie flourished, his confidence bolstered by a culture that celebrated curiosity and personal growth.
The Falcons, however, struggled to maintain their top position. The fear of failure instilled by Coach Donovan’s methods led to a restrictive play style that hindered their performance in crucial games. The players, including Eli, were technically skilled but lacked the psychological resilience to navigate through adversity effectively.
Chapter 6: The Power of Wonder
The final games of the season highlighted the stark differences in coaching philosophies. The Meadowlarks, though not the most skilled, played with heart and adaptability, often outmaneuvering more technically proficient teams. Jamie, once hesitant, now thrived under pressure, embodying the spirit of resilience and wonder.
For the Falcons, the season ended in disappointment. Despite their initial advantage, the lack of flexibility and the pervasive fear of mistakes culminated in a lower-than-expected finish. Eli, reflecting on the season, recognized the limitations of a fear-based approach and yearned for the kind of supportive environment that Jamie experienced.
Chapter 7: Lessons for the Future
Years later, both Jamie and Eli pursued careers in sports, their paths shaped significantly by their childhood experiences. Jamie, nurtured by the principles of wonder, approached challenges with curiosity and resilience, qualities that made him a beloved coach. Eli, on the other hand, worked to unlearn the rigid, fear-based tactics he grew up with, aspiring to foster a more encouraging and adaptive environment for his players.
The journey of the Meadowlarks and the Falcons serves as a poignant reminder of how the power of wonder can transform not just individual players but entire teams, turning underdogs into examples of growth and resilience, and teaching us that the spirit of inquiry is often the most critical element in overcoming life's various challenges.
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