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Game On: Developing Emotional Intelligence in Youth Sports

Updated: Jan 2, 2024



Our Youth Development articles are meant to create awareness for all of the incredible ways kids can develop from youth sports. The goal is to help people notice the wide range of development that is happening during youth sports along with noticing performance and results. If you see development happening, even during poor performance or poor results, it can give you the power to make the most of the experience and align with your personal priorities in youth sports.


In this article we will discuss (1) What are the key aspects of emotional intelligence and what are the ways kids develop it through youth sports (2) Why emotional intelligence is so valuable at the different stages of life and (3) How to create and participate in youth sports experiences to best enable kids to develop emotional intelligence. If you find this all too much, read the cliffs notes or just skim each section. If you want to deeply learn this and incorporate it into youth sports, please spend the time to review, re-read and comment. If you want us to create a program for you that does all of this, please submit a request.


Summary of Developing Emotional Intelligence in Youth Sports


In the journey of personal growth and excellence, emotional intelligence stands as a foundational element that transcends the boundaries of sports and influences every facet of life. It's the keystone to fostering resilience, understanding, and adept self-regulation. In this blog, we explore how sports serve as the ideal training ground to nurture these essential life skills, leading to a brighter, more successful future for our young athletes, as we unveil practical, no-nonsense insights on how to unlock the full potential of emotional intelligence.


What Does is Emotional Intelligence and What Skills Does this Include?


Emotional intelligence is the capacity to recognize, comprehend, manage, and apply emotions effectively in oneself and others. In the context of youth sports, developing emotional intelligence is a critical facet of personal growth and success. Here, we delve into the top 7 categories of EI skills that children can cultivate through their involvement in sports, with real-world examples showcasing how these skills are learned and honed.

  1. Self-Awareness: Children can develop self-awareness by recognizing their own emotions and understanding how these emotions affect their performance. They become attuned to their strengths and weaknesses, as well as their responses to various game situations. Example: In a soccer match, a young player may become aware of feeling nervous before taking a penalty kick, allowing them to work on managing their anxiety.

  2. Self-Regulation: Youth sports teach children how to self-regulate their emotions, helping them stay composed under pressure, control frustration, and rebound from failures. These skills can be honed through practices and games. Example: A basketball player learns to stay focused and maintain composure, even when trailing in a high-stakes game, by being aware of the pressure of the moment and still recognizing how to achieve peak performance .

  3. Motivation: In youth sports, kids can learn how intrinsic motivation is developed in themselves and their teammates. Example: A young swimmer becomes motivated by the challenge of breaking their personal best time and a teammate can learn to recognize this and focus on that motivation as a way to support their teammate and as a way to better understand their own emotions.

  4. Empathy: Children participating in youth sports learn empathy by understanding the emotions and viewpoints of teammates, opponents, and coaches. This fosters positive teamwork and sportsmanship. Example: A soccer player shows empathy by consoling an opponent who missed a crucial shot, acknowledging the pressure of the moment.

  5. Social Skills: Youth sports provide ample opportunities for children to develop social skills like effective communication, cooperation, and conflict resolution. These are cultivated through interactions with peers, coaches, and referees. Example: A youth basketball team practices good communication and cooperation by devising a strategy to comeback from a large halftime deficit.

  6. Resilience: Resilience is a core emotional intelligence skill that kids can develop in youth sports. They learn to bounce back from failures and setbacks, using them as opportunities for growth and maintaining a positive attitude. Example: A tennis player doesn't get discouraged after losing a match but rather focuses on improving their backhand in the next practice.

  7. Stress Management: Youth sports provide a context for children to develop stress management skills. They can learn techniques like deep breathing and visualization to stay composed in high-stress situations during games and competitions. Example: A young gymnast practices deep breathing exercises before performing a challenging routine, helping them stay calm under pressure.

Why Is Emotional Intelligence so Valuable Throughout Life?


The development of emotional intelligence in childhood not only aids immediate well-being but also fosters success in the near-term through college and early professional years, while continuing to provide lifelong benefits in adulthood, enhancing careers, relationships, and overall quality of life.


As a Child, Emotional intelligence equips a child with the necessary skills to thrive during childhood. These skills, such as self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and stress management, enable children to navigate the complex landscape of emotions, relationships, and challenges they encounter daily. By developing emotional intelligence, kids can build a strong foundation for their well-being, fostering resilience, positive social interactions, and effective emotional coping mechanisms, which directly enhance their overall experiences during their formative years. This can help kids learn better in school, perform better on tests, deal with challenging friend relationships and discover the things that they love doing the most.


In Early Adulthood, The skills related to emotional intelligence that children develop through youth sports set a solid foundation for their college years and early professional life. When they reach college age, these skills, including self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and stress management, position them for success. College students with strong emotional intelligence are better equipped to handle the challenges of higher education, including managing stress during exams, building positive relationships with peers, and effectively communicating with professors and mentors. As they transition into their early professional years, these skills become invaluable assets. Self-awareness helps them make informed career choices, self-regulation ensures composure during workplace pressure, empathy fosters collaboration, and stress management enables effective decision-making. In this way, the emotional intelligence skills nurtured during childhood continue to benefit individuals well into their college and early professional life.


For the Long Haul, The emotional intelligence skills children develop through youth sports provide lasting benefits as they transition into adulthood. As they mature, these skills, which include self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and stress management, play a vital role in personal and professional success. Adults with high emotional intelligence are better equipped to handle the complexities of the professional world, build and maintain positive relationships, and navigate the challenges of leadership roles. These skills are instrumental in building a strong, supportive community and in nurturing fulfilling family relationships. Whether it's making informed career choices, managing work-life balance, or resolving conflicts within their personal and professional lives, emotional intelligence continues to be a valuable asset that paves the way for a well-rounded, successful adulthood.


How to Design a Process for Building Emotional Intelligence.


For those of you that are very process-oriented, here is a logical progression model that illustrates how kids can best develop their emotional intelligence.

  1. Winning Creates an Initial Frame of Reference: Whether it's winning a game, a tournament, or aiming for a winning record throughout the season, victory serves as a straightforward benchmark that children readily comprehend and aspire to attain. ''Kids, we need to develop emotional intelligence to help us win as much as possible. We will help you understand what that means and if you build it, you will do better. How does that sound?'' Whether winning is the most important thing to you or not, this approach will lead to a better chance to win and will maximize the development of these skills for lifelong benefits.

  2. Break Winning into Pieces: In order to pursue winning in most sports, kids need to be good at self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, social skills, resilience, and stress management. Explain to the kids (in simple terms) how developing these skills will help their emotional intelligence and thus their performance. Create ways and cultivate focus and emphasis to develop these skills.

  3. Cultivate these Pieces: Concentrate with intent on developing the kids' emotional intelligence and making the parents aware that this is a part of your focus. Do drills that incorporate all the different emotional intelligence development needs. Celebrate when they improve or work to improve or show success in any of these areas. Emphasizing this brings awareness which will foster intrinsic intent and a desire to improve in these areas of emotional intelligence. Remind them how well they are improving versus prior times to get them to continuously improve.

  4. Emotional Intelligence Starts to Show Results: The kids start experiencing the reward of self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, social skills, resilience, and stress management. Connect these dots for them. Help them deeply appreciate that their emotional intelligence is happening and it matters. It helps them play better, get more action, win more plays, and enjoy the sport better.

  5. Emotional Intelligence Becomes Natural: The kids get such joy out of the rewards of their continuous emotional intelligence development that they start to intrinsically drive continued improvement without the coach needing to emphasize it as much. They start becoming intentional about continuing to develop their emotional intelligence... ultimately for the love of the experience of honing the skills that give them the emotional intelligence to thrive.

How Can General Approaches Help Kids to Build Emotional Intelligence?


To foster the development of emotional intelligence in kids within the dynamic context of sports, here are seven practical recommendations that encompass a range of drills, activities, and communication strategies, ensuring inclusivity and adaptability for every young athlete.

  1. Practice Emotional Check-Ins: Begin each practice or game with a brief emotional check-in. Ask kids how they're feeling that day and if they have any concerns or goals. This promotes self-awareness and opens the lines of communication.

  2. Teach Mindfulness Techniques: Introduce mindfulness exercises to help kids with self-regulation and stress management. Short sessions of deep breathing or guided visualization can be incorporated into practices to help them stay focused and composed.

  3. Incorporate Empathy-Building Activities: Use team-building activities that promote empathy, such as "walk in their shoes" exercises. Encourage kids to see situations from different perspectives, fostering their understanding of others' emotions.

  4. Encourage Open Communication: Create a safe and non-judgmental environment for kids to express their thoughts and feelings. Encourage them to talk about their challenges and successes, promoting social skills and cooperation.

  5. Set Inclusive Team Goals: Establish team goals that focus on personal growth and collective success, rather than solely on winning. This approach nurtures intrinsic motivation, emphasizing the enjoyment of the sport itself and the development of emotional intelligence.

  6. Celebrate Improvement: Recognize and celebrate the development of emotional intelligence alongside athletic achievements. Highlight moments when kids demonstrate self-regulation, empathy, or resilience, reinforcing the value of these skills.

  7. Adapt Practices to Individual Needs: Recognize that each child is unique. Understand their physical and emotional needs and adapt drills and activities accordingly. Tailoring your approach to the individual ensures that each child can work on their specific areas of emotional intelligence development.

Top 7 Specific Tips and Tricks to Help Kids to Build their Emotional Intelligence through Youth Sports.


To instill and nurture emotional intelligence in young athletes, here are seven engaging and specific tips and tricks that coaches can seamlessly incorporate into practice, game-day routines, post-practice or post-game talks, and even at-home activities to foster a love for these essential skills.

  1. Mirror Emotion Relay: During practice, set up a relay race where players run in pairs. In the first round, one player mimics a specific emotion, like excitement or frustration, with their body language and facial expressions, while the other must guess the emotion. In the second round, switch roles. This activity fosters empathy and recognition of emotions in themselves and others.

  2. Calm Concentration Challenge: Incorporate a mindfulness routine by asking players to find a quiet spot for a short meditation before a game. During this time, they focus on their breath and visualize themselves staying composed and performing at their best. This promotes self-regulation and stress management.

  3. Team "Empathy Hour": Dedicate an hour during the week for a team-building activity focused on empathy. Have players share their personal stories about overcoming challenges in sports. Then, challenge them to come up with ways they can support each other emotionally throughout the season.

  4. Role-Play Game-Time Scenarios: Prior to important games, engage players in a role-playing exercise where they act out possible in-game scenarios, such as a close call by a referee or a teammate's mistake. Encourage them to respond empathetically, demonstrating understanding of their own and others' emotions.

  5. Emotion-Tracking Journal: Encourage players to keep an emotion-tracking journal. In this journal, they record their emotions before, during, and after practices and games. Ask them to note what specific events or thoughts triggered those emotions, enhancing self-awareness and motivation to improve.

  6. Weekly "EQ Challenge": Each week, set an "Emotional Intelligence Challenge." For example, challenge players to stay focused and composed during a high-pressure drill or to show empathy towards a teammate facing a personal difficulty. Celebrate their achievements and how it contributes to team success.

  7. "Player of the Day" Ritual: After each game or practice, highlight a "Player of the Day" based on their emotional intelligence efforts. This can include self-regulation, empathy, or resilience. This acknowledgment reinforces the value of these skills and motivates players to continue honing them.

As we draw the final whistle on this discussion, it's clear that emotional intelligence is not just a buzzword; it's a game-changer in the world of youth sports and beyond. By honing the key elements of self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, motivation, social skills, resilience, and stress management, young athletes are not only enhancing their performance on the field but setting a course for success in life. With an arsenal of practical tips and tricks at their disposal, the future is bright for those who embark on this journey. Emotional intelligence isn't just a skill; it's a pathway to a more fulfilling and meaningful sporting experience and a life well-lived.

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